My Collateral Beauty.

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*TW-Sensitive Post*

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It’s been two years. I remember today like it was yesterday. Was running on hardly any sleep. They wouldn’t let me see the screen. I stared at my husband looking for answers to the questions spinning in my head. At that point I just knew already.

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They say time heals things. For me time has distracted that sadness until this time of year comes back around.

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It’s OK to me to remember. It’s OK to me to be sad. It’s OK to me to wonder and think of him/her. I don’t just do it once a year but March reminds me a bit more strongly.

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I TELL myself it’s OK to feel the feels BECAUSE I’ve been there and I know that feeling of that heartbreak I had….and I Pray. I Pray for those who’ve experienced their own losses, who are struggling, who are waiting for their Sunshine baby and those waiting for their Rainbow.

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A few things I’ve witnessed and become aware of over these two years:

1. Everyone handles miscarriage in their own way AND no way is the wrong way.

2. It’s been a taboo hush hush topic that seriously should NOT be. When one’s been through it no matter what stage they’ve been affected. It’s physically, mentally, emotionally painful. No one should take away someone’s need to grieve. Like anything. Don’t judge someone or think you know what it feels like unless you’ve walked in the same shoes.

3. Awareness: 1 in 4. This isn’t rare. Just look at that statistic. Soooo next time you meet a couple be cautious. It seems innocent but maybe be careful about how you approach conversation about children. Don’t make pushy comments like “You should be/Why don’t you….”. You don’t know what they’re going through or have been through. Sometimes they’re hurting and your reminder isn’t helpful.

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Some didn’t understand why I took my grief and shared my struggles and feelings openly in my blogs, posts, etc.

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Healing. It was healing for me. I struggled. I was depressed for months. That mind battle of “move on & depression” was challenging and impacted many areas of my life at the time. I met so many wonderful people —> online <— who understood and made me feel like I had a place to go during my struggling times.

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As hard as it may be, God doesn’t bring you through troubled water for nothing, Live via faith! It may take some time but I believe with faith you’ll find beauty from pain.

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