Not today. Not this time.

Leave a comment

Today as I held, fed, and rocked my little girl for her nap, I looked up and saw cobwebs and goldenfurball “tumbleweeds”. I felt anxiety spike as I tried to soothe her yet feel the need to clean. I told myself once she falls asleep I’ll put her down in her room where it’s quiet and address the “stress”.


Instead. As her little purplish pink vein painted eyelids got heavier and heavier I decided I wasn’t going to put her down. Not this time.

Instead I took some deep breaths and told myself THIS won’t last forever. Im BLESSED with this bundle of joy and I will LOVE this moment and let HER melt away my (ridiculous) anxiety.


So I stared at her little perfectly shaped rose colored lips that give a little smirk once in awhile (as she must be seeing 👼 angels – Ive wondered maybe it’s her baby angel brother or sister).


I stared at her cute little chubby cheeks. Her pretty little eyelashes. The curves of her little nose. The way her little fingers play with her hair. The unbelievable fact that she no longer fits in my arms as she had just 2 months ago. I stared at her belly rise and fall and listened to the rhythmic sound of her baby breaths. Time goes by so quickly. There will come a time when she no longer naps in my arms like this and these are the moments to treasure!


I am guilty of getting stuck in the “overload mode” where all of a sudden everything needs to be done “like yesterday” and I stress about having the time to do it. BUT THOSE THINGS can wait. That tumbleweed furball and cobweb will do no harm sitting for another 30minutes, 60minutes, or heck a day or more.


Friends. Take the time!


The house will get cleaned (and dirty again). The laundry folded and put away (to be worn and dirtied again). The dogs will get brushed (and fur balls will form again). The dishes washed and put away (and will get eaten on and piled in the sink again). The toys will get picked up (only to be played with all over the floor again). All of this and more time and time again.


As I sit holding her I look over and see my Big Boy and remember holding him. I sit and see how big he is now. I will, in time, yearn to remember her just like she is now AS I often do with him (just about every single day).


This journey of life is quite the ride. Motherhood has NO “handbook”. Live. Love. Do our BEST! We need to learn (I need that reminder) to just STOP and LIVE in the moment and to take a “break” from it all. Find yourself or maybe rediscover yourself.


So in this moment today. I learned. I RELEARNED a lesson. Not taught by a book. Or with words. Just a life moment taught to me by this innocent little girl. To STOP. BREATH. Be Grateful ❤️

Posted by

I am 35 yrs. old -a Wife and Mother to a Beautiful Boy and my Rainbow Baby Girl. I am a dance and fitness instructor. I own a fitness studio where I offer a variety of fitness classes in the evenings. I recently have become a FULL TIME Fitness Coach after 3+ years of working as a Day Care Assistant after having my Son and leaving my Emotionally Taxing Case Management Position. Fitness is my passion! I love to work out on my own AND with others! Throughout my both of my pregnancies I continued to work out on my own and with Beachbody programs, live my dream of being a work from home mom (for most of the day), and teach at my studio (and other locations) in the evening. After the birth of my son I have worked hard to get my pre-preg. body back. Shaun T's T25 was initial program and then Tony's P90X3 BOTH which I loved the short affective times because with having a newborn baby that was EXACTLY what I needed. I know and understand the self discipline it takes to achieve your desired goals and I am still on that path and have my struggles as everyone else does! I love to offer my support to my clientele with group fitness classes I offer in my community and I feel we work as a team all together to HELP each other. I LOVE offering my support via the web too as I REACH other people that I can't physically see. IT IS AMAZINGLY rewarding and I can't imagine NOT doing what I do! Im currently on my postpartum journey once again and so GRATEFUL and BLESSED to live this healthy lifestyle, lead by example for my family, and support others on their journey too!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s